Facebook is the cigarette of 2013, the "bad habit" many are trying to kick. And the doubts seem to be stemming from Facebook's younger users.
We reached out to a few Millennials, in particular, to find out why they
left Facebook — and why some returned. While the reasons for cutting
the cord ranged from the practical to the existential, many former
Facebook users cited the stress of maintaining their online appearances.
While half the users we questioned have returned to the site (albeit
with a reduced presence), the other half consistently claim they're
happy to be "free" of Facebook. They found that once they got used to
it, life without social media wasn't as hard as they imagined.
1. It's Just Too Overwhelming
The most common reason for going Facebook-cold turkey was the
overwhelming nature of the site. To many, it just seems like noise.
Among the mess of targeted ads, Instagram pictures and shared articles,
there's very little room for real socializing between friends on the Facebook Timeline
there's very little room for real socializing between friends on the Facebook Timeline.
At least, that's the reason 23-year-old Facebook user Tom Barefoot, a
graduate student at the University of Akron, cites: "I see Facebook and
I just think, 'The only people I really care about are, like, 10 of my
friends. Why do I need all this other social media?'"
Duquesne University graduate student Jordan Moore, 24, agrees. He's
quit Facebook in the past but kept his account to stay in touch with a
few close friends.
"A lot of the people I am connected with I no longer talk to," he
says, calling Facebook a "soapbox" and "diary" for people to promote
their opinions and frustrations, rather than to actually communicate.
With users amassing hundreds of friends and acquaintances, some they
only met once or knew years ago, Jordan's sentiment is a common concern.
Abandoning Facebook cuts out the obligation to keep track of your
friend from grade school, and instead focus on real-life interactions
with those you care most about.
2. To Hide Incriminating Evidence From Employers
We've all heard the warnings: Watch what you put on Facebook, because
your future employers will go through your account with a fine-toothed
comb to find that one picture of you holding a red Solo cup from 2004.
And you will
not be hired as a consequence.
It's part of the reason Facebook has introduced many privacy tools,
but some users, like software engineer Albert Tackie, 26, aren't taking
any chances.
"I left years ago, primarily so I couldn't have Facebook working
against me as I was job hunting. My friends made my Wall far too
incriminating, and it made me nervous," he says, "Now I just won't go
back because I'm already free."
Image: Flickr, SethMacEntee
This desire to hide evidence from potential employers is causing many
Facebookers to fly the coop, especially considering a recent Facebook privacy settings change
has ensured no user can hide from search anymore. The fear is
legitimate, as employers try harder and harder to gauge potential
employees by their social media presences, some even going so far as to ask for candidates' Facebook passwords.
For some, removing one's presence entirely could mean the difference between getting or losing a job.
3. To Hide From a Breakup
It's hard to get over an ex when you see her constant status updates
or his weekend party pictures. Some members of the Broken Hearts Club
find it's easier to avoid the social network entirely during their
recovery periods.
Laekyn Sanders, 21-year-old undergraduate student at Seton Hill
University, says she quit Facebook to avoid the distraction of her
breakup. "I was going through a really bad breakup, and was tired of
people asking me via Facebook why things ended with the guy I was
dating," she says. "It got distracting enough to the point that I would
find myself wanting to talk about it to those people, and it took me
away from focusing on studying, which made my grades drop really
quickly."
Katie Stopa, a 27-year-old New York University graduate student, says
quitting Facebook meant she didn't feel forced to maintain
relationships she no longer felt benefited her.
"I also think
Facebook encourages keeping some relationships open that should naturally be closed
Facebook encourages keeping some relationships open that should naturally be closed,"
she says. "That could include a relationship with an ex-boyfriend, or
an ex-friend, or just a former acquaintance or schoolmate that you
haven't seen in the better part of a decade. Facebook keeps them open."
Facebook makes dating (both the beginnings and ends) difficult.
In a digital environment where every comment, relationship status
update or photograph posted is relatively public knowledge, it's hard to
avoid scrolling back through old romantic messages, cute Wall posts and
photographs from happier days. And while some praise Facebook for its
ability to maintain would-be lost ties, in a relationship gone bad,
daily reminders that the other party still exists can be jarring.
4. To Avoid Anxieties
Even if you avoid posting sensitive information online, social
networks like Facebook make it challenging to confront the setbacks in
one's life, for example, the loss of a job or that extra year at
college. Many users feel they have to either acknowledge the problem to
their entire network or pretend everything is fine. Either takes a
psychological toll.
Image: Flickr, opensourceway
A recent study
from the Department of Behavioral Science at the University of Utah
seems to confirm this. Over 400 students were questioned on their
Facebook usage and lifestyle perceptions in relation to others. Of the
students questioned, "those who have used Facebook longer agreed more
that others were happier, and agreed less that life is fair, and those
spending more time on Facebook each week agreed more that others were
happier and had better lives."
Anna, 24 (last name withheld), a journalist, agrees. When she had
Facebook, "I would compare myself and my own somewhat 'nerdy' (but
absolutely lovable) friend group to others in my college, who seemed to
have tons of fun being out and about, kept posting inside jokes and
affectionate posts. You know, the usual stuff, pretty normal at
hindsight, but I guess it bothered me somewhat that my friends never did
that."
Looking back, Anna always had fun with her friends, but constantly
comparing her group to her social networks made her anxious what she may
have been missing elsewhere.
Seeing your friends' lives, curated to include only the most
flattering tidbits, makes any perceived failure even more detrimental to
your own well-being, a reason many Millennials are opting out of
interacting online at all.
5. You're Having an Existential Crisis
Some people can't really put their finger on why they feel so iffy about Facebook. At least, that's what
writer
and University of Pittsburgh at Johnstown undergrad student Max Zell,
23, says about his ex-girlfriend's several attempts to quit Facebook,
most of which lasted only a month or two.
He insists that each of her refusals to participate on the social
media site stemmed from a different problem with Facebook, for instance,
its effect on society: "Sometimes it's tied into an angsty statement
about the futility of social media. Sometimes it's a statement
idealizing hermitage. I think sometimes it's just a straight up panic of
'IS THIS A DIGITAL REPRESENTATION OF ME?! THIS ISNT ME. I'M ME. THERE
CAN'T BE MORE THAN ONE ME. I MUST DESTROY THIS.'"
Many of us have at one time admitted we are "addicted" to Facebook.
The mindless scrolling, the joy of getting several "likes" on your
status and the simplicity that comes with Facebook birthdays. The
experience makes Facebook seem a lot like the Hotel California: You can
sign out any time you'd like, but you're never really going to leave.
Eagles paraphrasing aside, Facebook has become so ingrained for
millions of users that it's hard to imagine giving it up, but that's
exactly what some twenty-somethings are trying to do.
What are your thoughts? Have you quit, or do you know someone who has? Let us know in the comments section below.
